A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. The first one is lightly licking the ice cream, the second is biting the ice cream and the third one gobbles the whole cone down. "My granny served in Vietnam. Johnny: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? Little Johnny ran out into the living room and answered the phone. You fiddle with me when you are bored. Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!
Little Johnny: "Another reindeer! The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny? " After a few minutes of silence Little Johnny raised his hand and hesitantly spoke: "Well... de horse jumped over de fence and de feet got tangled in de tail... ". "Right, I have a stiff shaft, my tip penetrates, and I come with a quiver. " Little Johnny: "The wrong answer! "yes Johnny, give it a go". Little Johnny: "E-L-E-F-A-N-T". Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? Been burned by Johnny before. Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. The kids suggested a pencil. Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. Teacher: "Now, Johnny, who discovered America?
Little Johnny was learning about punctuation. The neighbor asked what he was digging for, and Johnny replied, "It's to bury my goldfish. " Teacher: "Where does your mother come from? Jenny: "Is god outside in the playground? Teacher: "You don't know your arithmetic. "
"The sky is definitely blue, " said one girl. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you. " Little Johnny replied, I'm drawing God. The mother is now angry and immediately phones Johnny's teacher, "What on earth are you teaching my son in class? " Little Johnny was in his maths class one day when the teacher said to him "If I gave you $200, " the teacher began, " and you gave $50 to Mary, $50 to Sally, $50 to Susan and $50 to Amy, what would you have? Did you just copy hers?, she asks. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. Johnny groaned before standing. If I didn't clean it and freeze it, my mom would've been angry. Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can go home. She says to the children "Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now. Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? The teacher says "Johnny, there's nothing exciting about a dot.
And my dad answered 'Yes'. Little Johnny wonders why his dad is bald. Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny? "That's very admirable of you, " says the teacher. A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Why do you suppose that is? " And my daddy has two of them! " That must be amazing to watch, " said the teacher.
The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your real father a big hug! The teacher responded: Well, they are a fundamental part of the written language; why do you ask? He seems smart enough. Little Johnny: "Fred did! Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!
Little Johnny pokes her in the ass with a pin and she yells "Jesus Christ! " One day Ms. Nelson, a kindergarden teacher, was giving a lesson on imagination. The teacher bends to pick a chalk and little Johnny starts walking out of the class. So he went to the maid's room. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit. Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? Answered little Johnny.
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. Johny the Fighter Pilot. Mary answers, "He's in my heart. His mother asks "What are you doing, Johnny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean little johnny teacher wittle dad jokes.
When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. Johnny: "Well where did you find our mummy? Little Johnny's mother was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. Teacher: 'That would be rude and impolite. Teacher: "What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red. Little Johnny asks his mum, "Mum, do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time in a faraway land'? Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade. After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. Little Johnny's teacher asks, "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. The teacher, obviously frustrated, yells at Johnny, "Why do you keep saying seven?!
The teacher said, First recite your ABCs. "It's just like with Santa Claus. Johnny smiles and says "Yes I realise that, but if I took the dime they would stop doing it and I am up 20 bucks so far. The teacher paused and said, But no one knows what God looks like. Teacher: "How much is half of 8? Scroll down for Little Johnny Jokes or pick another category instead). Four but I like the way you think. Johnny, after a moment: "Legs. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a darn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can... and I think can!
So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. Mother: "How was math today? He said, "When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out. Time she did without refusal so she laid on the floor he got on top of her and they had sex, 5 minutes later his mom came in and.
Johnny: "One dollar. " Johnny replies "None, they would all have flown away when they heard the gun shot. " I've heard my father say the same thing more than once. He answered, "Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.
But Johnny was on the ball with "Wedding Ring! She took Johnny to the principal's office. Susie said, "He was born in a manger. Why stop laughing now? Harry: "Firetruck" The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I missed the last ten questions myself. "Hello Johnny, what are you up to? " A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.